Horrible Pity
by RarityTheUnicorn
Summary: The entire city seemed to be singing. Lanterns hung on every corner and confetti and broken candy littered the streets from the day's parade. Banners were hung that read 'Happy Birthday Princess Azula.' fire nation royal family angst/ maiko fluff/angst


The entire city seemed to be singing. Lanterns hung on every corner and confetti and broken candy littered the streets from the day's parade. It had been dark for a few hours and the children of the Capital squirmed as their mothers ran a warm, damp washcloth across their face paint and tucked them into bed. The late August stars shone as brightly as the windows in the noisy pubs filled with people, as if their party was only beginning.

In the heart of the city, the festivities continued. Noblemen and women's chatter could be heard from the entire palace. The pillars in the halls were wrapped in red and gold. In between the two entrances of the Great Hall stood a cake as tall as a grown man and above the cake a banner was hung that read _Happy Birthday Princess Azula_.

The princess sat with her friends at the head of the room on a raised platform. The floor immediately around the girls was scattered with opened gifts; those unopened remained in a growing pile behind them. Mai sat to Azula's right, her back against the arm of her chair. She held a half-empty box of fire flakes in her lap and had a steady rhythm going of picking up an handful and watching them fall back. She had long since grown nauseous at the idea of eating any more. On the princess' left sat Ty Lee, the corners of her mouth sticky from the yellow candies she had been sucking on all day.

Azula sat in the middle, still adjusting to the new heavier weight of her new headpiece. She admitted to herself that her eleventh birthday had been the best yet. Uncle had outdone himself; it was his idea to include to entire city, upper and lower classes, in a festival in her honor. Although she could think of a few minor details her father could have done better, they were just that -minor, and the overall effect left her satisfied. She smiled despite herself; she was in a good mood.

The Fire Lord had gone on a mission. He felt he was not doing the best job he could be. Sure, the war was in the Fire Nation's favour, but it wasn't progressing very much. Ozai didn't want to be successful; he wanted to shine, like his father and grandfather had. He wanted to outshine them. He wanted chapters in history books -no, classes taught about the rise of Fire Lord Ozai at every university in the world. He decided he could do what they had not done before him and, in the late spring, he had set off on a hunt for the Avatar.

Of course, to preserve his honor in case the Avatar could not be found, he had only told a few people of his true intentions. Azula and Zuko hadn't seen their father for months and, from what he told them in his letters, he had no luck finding the Avatar. Surely, her father would return disappointed. The princess hoped that coming home to her splendid birthday party would lighten his mood.

Craning her neck, Azula looked at each entrance. He should have been here by now. She looked for large gatherings of people, in case he had slipped in without her noticing. All she could find was the mass around Uncle as he made his way through the crowd.

Zuko hated parties. He had to wear his formal armor that seemed to swallow up his wiry figure. he tried to stay to the side, but Uncle kept introducing him to nobles, which involved talking. And Zuko wasn't very good at talking; he could admit that. He _had_ just offended four different barons and possibly revealed an affair.

Uncle's booming laugh brought him back to reality. He smiled nervously at...at...at some noble who was talking to them.

"Well, my friend," Uncle clapped the man on the shoulder. "I'm afraid we must go. Hosting a party is work indeed."

The man shouted after them -"Yes, that is your kind of work, Iroh!"- and Zuko looked up to see that Uncle had led them to Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee.

"And here she is, the lovely birthday girl!" Uncle seemed to float up the stairs; he thrived on festivity. "Yes, I remember the morning, just at sunrise, eleven years ago today. A perfect birth -eight hours shorter than Zuko's."

Azula smiled. Zuko looked back up in shock. Azula _smiled_?

"Hello, Uncle, Zu-zu."

For once she didn't sound evil when she spoke, she sounded kind of happy. Zuko sighed and let the name slide. It was her birthday, after all.

Uncle's talking faded into white noise as Zuko zoned out. He watched Mai's thin, pale fingers dip into her fire flakes and bring them up to her face. Her narrow, gold eyes watched more patiently than Zuko ever could have as she let them fall almost two at a time back into the box. Somehow, Zuko found himself not watching her hands, but her face. She was so perfect, like a doll. Her lips were even painted red for the party.

Before he could do anything about it, he pictured kissing Mai. _Gaaah! No! She's Azula's friend! Cut it out!_ He bit his lower lip and tasted the three pastries he had eaten earlier. _I bet Mai would taste like fire fla-No!_

Zuko really hoped he wasn't blushing.

He realized that Mai was looking back at him, blushing under the intensity of his gaze. She quickly averted her eyes. _Great. Now, she'll think I'm crazy._Ty Lee giggled and Zuko figured that Uncle had told a joke, so he forced out a laugh to make it seem like he was listening.

Ty Lee only laughed harder. Zuko looked around. When had Uncle and Azula left? Ty Lee stood up.

"Whoa! Look at that highly selective burst of wind!" She let the 'wind' carry her to the edge of the platform.

"We're indoors, Ty Lee." Mai rolled her eyes.

"Oh, right." Ty Lee scanned the crowd, pouting with her lips scrunched to one side. "Well, my mom just exploded. I need to go take care of that. Bye, Mai! Have fuh-_uun_!" Singing her last words, Ty Lee off the platform and into the crowd.

Zuko looked to Mai, who was staring at the floor. "Her mom didn't really just-?" He was silenced by the look on Mai's face. "Right. So, uh...d'youwannadancewime?"

"What?" Mai looked up, confused.

"WANNA DANCE WITH ME?"

She flinched. Oh, Agni, he'd scared her. He had to backtrack. Sure, Azula said all the time that she liked him, but come on, that's Azula.

"I mean- You don't have to! If you don't want to... It's just- I have to get Azula a birhtday gift if you say no."

Something flashed in her eyes. Disappointment?_ You wish. _Azula's voice whispered in his head._ It's pity. She's sparing your feelings. You're the prince, what other choice does she have?_

"Oh, never mind. It's okay." His voice came out harsher than he intended.

Zuko turned to leave, but Mai took his hand.

"Zuko, wait." He looked back at her, blushing. Why couldn't he stop blushing? "I'll dance with you."

"Are you sure?"

She didn't answer aside from a groan as she pulled him onto the dance floor.

Uncle led Azula into the hallway. She followed him silently, listening to the mindless chatter of her guests slowly fade into the background. She smiled, thinking of the lovestruck expression on Zuzu's face as they left. Maybe he would finally make a move tonight. They passed a pair of nobles, not older than sixteen, sneaking into a more abandoned corridor.

Azula giggled to herself. Uncle turned around, one eyebrow raised, and smirked at the princess.

"Young love," he chuckled.

Azula ran into the door Uncle held open for her into one of the sitting rooms. She felt light and giddy and sat down on the arm of a chair with her legs crossed. Uncle closed the door softly behind him and when he turned around, he looked upset.

"Princess Azula, we have received word from your father."

"Where _is _Dad? He's late; this is so unlike him." Azula could hear her father's voice telling her how important punctuality was. He had also told her that tardiness was a sign of great disrespect.

"I'm afraid he will not be able to attend your party."

Azula felt her heart solidify and sink into her stomach like a rock.

"What do you mean? Has his ship sunk? Is he alright?"

"Oh, no, no, no. He's fine." Iroh placed his hand over the girl's. He hadn't meant to worry her. "Your father has decided to extend his search for the Avatar."

"He's decided to..." Azula looked at the floor, her father's lectures about disrespect ringing in her head. She tried to push them away. "I suppose that is where he's needed the most."

"Princess Azula," Uncle's voice was full of a horrible pity. "I understand how you must feel."

"I feel fine," Azula snapped, narrowing her eyes. "I am honored to sacrifice for my country."

Uncle put his hand on her shoulder, meaning to comfort her, but the gesture felt forced to Azula, his hand too warm and heavy on her shoulder.

"Leave me alone!" Azula shook him off, afraid to touch him with her hands and reveal the sparks just itching to escape her fingertips. She felt ashamed of the lack of control she had over her emotions. Azula sat in the corner of the room with her back to Uncle.

"Azula, please." He stood behind her, surely an arm's length away. Countless times she could remember finding comfort in his arms as a small child and since her father had gone to find the Avatar and left Uncle in charge of her and Zuzu, their relationship had improved.

Usually, he treated her with respect and like an adult, but she couldn't help but feel betrayed as he tried to baby her. He wasn't her father and he shouldn't pretend otherwise.

She sat in silence, refusing to look at him. After a while, she began to feel odd, not angry, but sad and increasingly worse as the seconds passed. Slowly, she turned around, before the growing pressure in her chest could crush her.

"Uncle, I-"

He had left her.

The ache in her throat grew and she felt she wouldn't be able to form words if she tried. Her bottom lip grew stiff and quivered. She slammed her palms into her itching eyes. Princesses weren't supposed to cry.

Azula walked down the hallway quickly, ignoring party guests waving to her. All their stupid smiles and laughter seemed to give her a headache. She peered through the archway that led into the Great Hall, looking for nothing in particular. Her eyes focused on Mai and Zuko before she chose to.

They were dancing slowly, twirling around in awkward circles. Zuko blushed as he stepped on Mai's foot and she grasped his shoulder from the shock of it. He seemed to be apologizing over and over, but cut it out when Mai snapped at him. She took one of his hands and put it on her lower back. She picked up her skirt a few inches and put one of her feet on either of his. When her skirt dropped, it covered the fact that they were cheating. He held one of her hands and she put her head down on his shoulder. They began to sway in circles again. They seemed happy.

Azula turned her head at the sound of laughter behind her. Was someone laughing at her for spying on them? It was only the couple she had seen earlier with Uncle. They slipped behind a tapestry, paying her no attention.

She pulled it back and they broke apart as she shouted.

"What are you doing?"

"We're sorry, princess." Both dropped into a bow when they recognized her.

"Get _out_!" She watched them hurry out of the palace.

Azula found herself in the Great Hall, leaning against a wall in the corner. Zuzu ran up to her, out of breathe and smiling.

"Hey, Azula! Guess what? I don't have to get you a present! I danced with Mai!"

He seemed so proud of himself. "I know. I saw you trample her."

"Hey! I didn't-" He was at a loss for words, his face quickly turning red.

"You should really learn to leave her alone. She doesn't like you like that."

"I asked her to dance because you _told_ me to! And how do you know, anyway? You told me that-"

"I lied."

He scrunched up his face and flared his nostrils. "You can't do that!"

"I did." She narrowed her eyes and her words fell out of her mouth. "Just because _you_ can't, doesn't mean we all can't. You should really work on that, you know? Try to hide at least your creepy and embarrassing thoughts? Don't display them on you face for the world to see? For Agni's sake, Mai's afraid you're going to rape her. And what else would she expect, with you staring at her all the time?"

Zuko looked like his life was in serious medical danger, sputtering and red like the idiot he was. He pointed at Azula and was shaking with all his little emotions freaking out. After ten seconds of him not being articulate enough to string two words together, Azula rose her eyebrows and smirked. This seemed to send him over the edge and she found herself laughing as he stormed away grumbling to himself.

Azula found Mai and Ty Lee sitting on the platform. Ty Lee's smile faded as Azula came up the stairs.

"Are you alright? You're aura's all wonky."

"I'm fine, Ty Lee," Azula's voice was sharp as she sat down between them and took a fruit tart off of Ty Lee's plate. "I just spoke with Zuzu." She peered at Mai pointedly, not wanting to continue until Mai showed full interest.

"What did he say? I bet he said something about Mai." -Ty Lee giggled- "Zuko _always _has something to say about Mai."

"He did." Mai still didn't say anything, but she was looking at Azula expectantly. She sighed.

"What did he say, Princess Azula?"

"Well, I'm really not sure if I should tell you. I don't want to hurt your feelings."

Mai looked over Azula's shoulder, supposedly looking at Ty Lee, who was suddenly very quiet. "I'm sure you won't. Please, if you would like to say something, than say it."

Azula took Mai's hand in both of hers. "He told me that you're starting to scare him."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Mai, he just doesn't feel the same way you do. He told me that he asked you to dance because of some joke I made that he took seriously and said that you were all over him. And that it was really creepy."

"I'm sorry, Azula, but I don't believe you. Zuko wouldn't say something like that. He's too nice."

Azula sighed and shook her head dramatically, then looked sadly at Ty Lee, as if to say that their poor friend was in denial. "That's the problem, Mai. He's _too_nice. Zuzu's so noble; he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I told him that he would probably be hurting you less in the long run if he just told you now, but he's so bad at confrontation that he'll probably keep stringing you along. Don't listen if you like, but I'm just telling you so that you can get over him sooner than later."

Zuko ran out of the room and felt betrayed. By Azula and Ty Lee and Uncle for insisting Mai felt the same way about him, and by Mai for acting like she _did_, and by himself for believing it. How could Mai think that about him? He would never hurt her. He needed to be alone.

He turned down the hall into a branch that led to another part of the palace. As soon as he was far enough away, he let loose, spinning and punching the air around him, creating a whirl of fire. After three minutes he lay on the scorched ground, panting and sweating with his heart aching. Why did he have to be so emotional? He would have given anything to not have to deal with all this pain and anger and embarrassment and guilt.

He rolled over onto his stomach, not caring if he scratched the floor with his armor or vice versa. Now he felt bad for being angry at Mai. It wasn't her fault, she just wasn't attracted to him. She probably faced enough trouble with Azula as her friend, she really didn't need Azula's creepy older brother staring at her.

Something nagged at Zuko, telling him that he wasn't crazy, he wasn't just Azula's creepy brother, he was Mai's friend too, maybe even more than that. He told it to shut up.

He needed to talk to Mai. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and communicating through Azula would _not _be a good plan. He knew it would hurt, but the best thing to do would be lie to Mai and say that it wasn't true, no matter what Azula told her. Then at least, he could try to be friends with her.

When Zuko got back to the main hallway, he didn't expect Mai to be leaning against the wall a few feet away from the door into the party. The pang in his chest was worse than he thought it would be. He ducked back behind the corner and caught his breath, smoothed back the hairs that had escaped from his topknot and brushed the dust from the ground off of his armor. He went back out.

"Mai! Hi!" His voice had cracked and he felt sick, but he'd gotten her attention. There was no going back. He had to just say it before he chickened out.

"Hey, Zuko." She looked up, but couldn't meet his eyes.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Obviously."

"No! I meant- Can we go somewhere else?" He pointed down the hall, looking warily at the noblemens' daughters standing very close by.

"Where do you want to go exactly?"

"Uh, here-" He took her hand and started to tug her down the hallway, then quickly released it. "Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to...ugh." He put his face in his hands, trying to find a train of thought that didn't make him feel like a stalker. "Can we just go over there?" He pointed weakly to the hallway he had bee hiding in. Mai nodded.

"Are you alright?" she asked as they turned into the hallway. She reached out to touch his forearm, but he jerked away.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I just- need to talk to you. Azulatoldmewhatyousaid." He couldn't look at her, it was like staring into the sun, but it hurt more, so he crossed his arms and stared at the wall behind her.

"Oh." Her voice was soft; she probably hadn't expected even Azula to tell him.

"I just wanted to tell you that, it's not that I don't like you. But I just don't _like_you. Azula- she just- she just lies a whole lot and I don't want to be awkward with you because we're friends and it's not that you're not really pretty, cause you _are_, and I don't want to hurt you. Not ever. Do you get what I mean?"

He looked up to see her nod, then quickly looked away.

"I'm really sorry."

"I get it." Her voice still didn't sound right. He really hoped she believed him and he wasn't just making a complete fool of himself.

"I've gotta go." She nodded again as he hurried down the hallway with his arms crossed and his head down, going towards the living quarters, not the party. In a way, she was kind of glad he wouldn't look at her. She couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her cry.


End file.
